How our past experiences guide our present behaviours
We’re coming into week three of the Identity Story programme this week, with an amazing cohort of six ladies who have graciously stepped up for eight weeks, to get to know themselves, to do the deep inner work.
It’s such a privilege to hold space for them, as they discover the different layers that sit within, the stories they’ve held tight.
The past two weeks have been a reflection of their past, their ancestors, who they are - where they come from, and how all of this has influenced where they are today, in the present.
I hold this space with immense aroha, and manaakitanga, because it can bring about a range of emotions and thoughts to look backwards. To bring curiosity, acceptance, and awareness.
DURING THIS TIME, A STORY CAME UP FOR ME THAT PROMPTED ME TO SPEND SOME TIME IN THE KITCHEN LAST WEEK, BAKING A BANANA CAKE WITH MY GIRLS. LET ME SHARE THAT STORY WITH YOU, IT MIGHT JUST INSPIRE A MEMORY OF CONNECTION FOR YOU TOO.
When I was a kid, one of my vivid memories about visiting my grandparents was the cakes that would be sitting in tupperware containers on top of the freezer by the front door.
I can picture them vividly even as I write this.
Big rectangle cakes, chocolate cake, and banana cake.
And when it was time to leave, my Nana would open the containers, cut off a big chunk of the cake, sometimes if you were lucky, both cakes, wrap them in tinfoil and send them off home with us.
I can remember how they tasted, the smell when they were warm, fresh out of the oven. The feeling of anticipation, for the cake to be in my school lunch box (if it lasted till then).
When we make banana cake in our house now, it brings forth that connection to my Nana. It brings back all those sensations, the joy, the love, the manaaki. The giving of love, wrapped in tinfoil.
And so as I said, we made a banana cake just the other day. My girls don’t have this same memory, they were still quite young when my Nana passed (but if you ever get the chance, ask Amelia about her Great Nana and corn - that’s her kai story!), but for me it was a space of reflection and connecting back to those memories.
The girls went off to the weekend to stay with their poppa, and so we wrapped the banana cake up and they took it with them. The travelling banana cake was off to create joy and love and delicious memories.
MEMORIES LIKE THIS HOLD MORE THAN JUST EXPERIENCES IN THEM. THE DEEP CONNECTION THAT COMES WITH THEM BECOMES INTERTWINED INTO OUR VALUES AND BELIEFS THAT GUIDE OUR DECISIONS AND BEHAVIOUR.
I challenge you to get curious, how do your past experiences connect with your present life?